Should My Parents Move In with Me?

Should My Parents Move In with Me?

Making the decision to move a parent into your home is not necessarily as clear-cut as it would seem. A number of situations and questions arise that need addressing. It can be helpful to consider the following issues before the move is made:

Relationships

  • How will you talk to my parent(s) about moving?
  • How will my spouse and children feel about moving my parent(s) into our home and how will it change our lives together?
  • What things will be easy for us to negotiate in living together and what things will be hard?
  • What are the limits of your ability to care for your parent(s) at home?
  • How will your siblings feel?
  • Will your siblings be able to help care for your parent(s)?
  • Will your parent(s) friends come to visit at your house? Or will your mom or dad be dependent on your for all socializing?
  • What are your needs for privacy and alone time?

Adapting Your Home

  • Where will your parent(s) sleep? In your daughter’s room? Will you need to convert the den, build an addition?
  • What special devices do you need? Grab bars in the bathroom? Raised toilet seat, ramps, etc.?
  • Does your parent smoke or drink and will that be a problem?
  • Does your mom or dad have a pet? Can you care for that pet? How do you feel about that pet living in your home?

Money

  • What will the financial arrangement be? Should you charge rent? Will you have expenses that you’d like your parents to reimburse?
  • How will your siblings feel about the financial arrangement?
  • Will your work situation have to change, and if so, how will you cover the bills?

Time

  • Will your parent(s) need care during the day, and if so, how will it be provided?
  • How will you juggle your job, childcare responsibilities, marriage and taking care of your adult parents?
  • When will you have time for yourself?
  • What kind of arrangements will need to be made when you go out of town for business or vacation?

Personal Care 

  • How comfortable are you with helping your mother or father bathe? Will you be willing to change an adult diaper?
  • Have you prepared yourself for what to expect when your parent(s) condition changes?
  • How is your health and will you be able to take care of yourself in addition to taking care of a parent?
  • Am you willing to accept respite care to get a break?

Every family situation is different. If you are facing these questions, Aging Family Services can help you sort out the pros and cons of such a move and provide information and resources to make things easier for you and your family. Call or send an email if you’d answering these and other tough questions.

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A Note from a Client

Thank you so much for the excellent service you provided. I think your caption, “Providing Peace of Mind” is very appropriate. Mother & Daddy were both very pleased…

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